


Out of The Dark

by LJBennett



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:25:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1438180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJBennett/pseuds/LJBennett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mysterious box appears in the TARDIS causing no end of problems for Roxy and The Doctor. Where did it come from? How did it get onboard? Searching for the answers could bring Roxy and The Doctor close again.<br/>The quest could however blow them further apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had been the most beautiful of days. The Doctor had taken me to a planet with shining silver sand, and several multi-coloured suns. The reflection of the suns from the sand sent pearly rainbows dancing before my eyes.

It was only as the suns began to set and the shadows crept in that I realised how long we had been there, just relaxing and chatting; getting to know each other some would say, but I still felt as if I didn't know more than a fraction about his life, whereas he knew everything about mine.

"You must be hungry... You humans always are!" He chided, unlocking the ancient blue box, and heading in.

"I am a little..." I admitted feeling my cheeks redden as my stomach growled loudly almost on cue.

"Come on then!" He laughed, taking my hand and setting off at pace through to the galley. "What do you fancy?"

"Have we any banofee pie left?" I asked, leaning against the counter.

He looked sheepishly at me. "Nope... You know how much I like bananas."

"I should've known!" I laughed. "Never leave you alone with banofee pie!"

"We have some of the tea bread, and that cheese... Any good?"

I shook my head. "You know what I really fancy?"

Knowing me better than anybody else ever has The Doctor just grinned. "Chips it is then. Shall we go to the bay again?" He pulled me through the corridors towards the control room, not waiting for a reply.

It was as we entered the control room that the TARDIS door slammed.

"You didn't." He glared at me.

"I closed it..." I wracked my brain, so sure I had.

"You can't have! Look!" There was a box on the gangway that couldn't have been there before or we would've both tripped over it.

He was angry and I knew that chips were out of the question as he inspected the box, scanning it with the sonic, then leaning in and licking it.

I couldn't help but shudder. The way he was so happy to taste anything always gave me the creeps.

"It had to be wooden!" He exclaimed, shaking his head and picking it up.

"I guess we're not going to open it." I watched him turning it this way and that in his hands.

"A mysterious wooden box appears in my TARDIS while we're on an uninhibited planet because SOMEONE forgot to close the door. Of course we're not going to open it... Well not in here anyway!" He gave me that mischievous grin, the one I could never resist.

"Are we going back outside? Surely it will be dark by now." I asked and he shook his head.

"The first sun will be rising by now, but no... I guess it was put here to remove it from this planet. The TARDIS would've never let it in if it was a danger to me."

_‘A danger to me.’_

The way he only thought of himself, and not me reflected the way the TARDIS seemed to think of me at that point. She would move doors so I walked the corridors for hours trying to get from the control room to the library, and when The Doctor came to look for me he would find me just outside of the control room and tell me I was being silly.

"Ok so it won't harm you. Where are we going to go to open it?" I followed him to the console.

The Doctor placed the box on what was usually my seat, the jump seat, as he ran around the console umming and ahhing about where we should go.

"Right..." He exclaimed, setting coordinates and running around flicking switches. It was as if he had forgotten I was even there until he reached the panel I was stood by, moving me physically out of the way towards the railings while he continued making adjustments.

I shook my head. Maybe he was angry with me still, or maybe his mind was purely on the job in hand. Either way I stood back, watching him work, as I clung to the railing trying not to fall as the TARDIS shook and shuddered beneath us.

A shout of Allons-y rang through the control room, and instead of grinning like usual, the Doctor had a grimace on his face as if he didn’t want to go wherever we were going. I would’ve asked, but with the shaking and shuddering, I could barely catch my breath. 

Wherever it was the TARDIS didn’t want to go there either.

We landed with a thud and sparks flew out from beneath the console panels. The Doctor didn’t seem to notice. It was like he was on autopilot.

“Stay here.” He growled, picking up the box and heading outside.

Too shocked to argue I just moved to perch on the jump seat.

He was gone a minute or so, but it felt like a decade.

I only knew he was back as the lock rattled and in he bounced as if nothing had happened, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Chips?” He grinned holding out a hand to me.

“Are you even going to tell me what that was all about?” I asked stepping up to the console with him.

“No.” The frown returned.

Putting on my best fake smile I shrugged. “Chips.” I nodded and we set about the console, The Doctor telling me which dials and instruments to set and where to.

The TARDIS flew soundly this time, barely a shake, and the Doctor even asked her to play his current favourite song as we span through the vortex.

Landing with a gentle thud, I couldn’t help but grin up at him. “Best flight so far!” I laughed.

“Ah, it wasn’t bad… not enough shaking for my liking!” He grinned back. “OK, are you ready to be a chip inspector again?!”

“Can’t we just buy some?” I asked turning with him towards the gangway. I stopped as I noticed it.

“Now where’s the fun in tha…?” The Doctor noticed the box milliseconds after me. “What?!?”


	2. Chapter 2

There on the gangway, exactly where it had been the first time was the wooden box.

I knew better than to ask questions.

The Doctor looked like he was trying to ignore it, going to walk around it and pulling on his long brown overcoat that was hanging on the strut by the door. “Chips.” His eyes were darker than normal. The little frown-line visible between them.

I couldn’t not say something. “What is it Doctor?” 

He let out a sigh. Walking back to the box he crouched down, pulling his glasses from the inner pocket of his jacket and putting them on. “I don’t know.” He admitted, running his hand over the box, inspecting every inch. “You’re sure you didn’t open the door again?” 

"How could I?” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air, knowing that I would get the blame for this no matter what I said. “You were stood at the console with me. You locked the door after coming back from disposing of it.” 

"I didn’t dispose of it. I put it in a safe place.” He ruffled his hair, making it stick up all over the place. “The question is how did it get back in?!?” He picked it up again and walked past me back up to the console, setting it down on my seat once again. 

"What’s in it?” I asked, following him and expecting the usual vague answer or some rapid response using long words that I could never understand. 

"I don’t know.” Was the reply he gave. 

"You want to know though.” I said, reaching to touch the box, only to have him slap my hand away. 

"Don’t touch it! What is it with you humans? You always have to touch things that you know nothing about!” 

"What is it with you TimeLords?” I retorted, sticking my tongue out as I rubbed my hand. “You lick everything you know nothing about!” 

He gave a small smile. “Fair question.” 

"One you’re not going to answer.” I shook my head. 

"Nope!” He grinned. “OK… we could go back to the safe place and put it back, but I have a feeling it’s going to reappear back in here if I do that.” 

"OK…?” I held up my hands. “So what do we do?” 

"Chips!” He grinned, picking it up and putting it under his arm. “You coming?” 

"You’re seriously going to carry it around with us?” I was astonished. 

"Yup!” He grinned again, heading to the door.

"Hang on... What bay have we landed in?" I asked, giving him my steeliest glare.

"Cardiff...why?" He looked sheepish again.

"We were aiming for St. Ives Doctor." I stood with my hands on my hips. "I don't want to see him."

"Roxy, please. I need his help." He replied giving the one look that destroyed all of my resolve.

"Fine. But I'm not talking to him." I pushed past the Doctor, out into the early evening sun.

"Roxy, wait up... This thing is heavier than it looks." He followed me out.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack was waiting outside and I ignored him. Childish I know but I didn't know how else to deal with this. 

After the bracelet and everything the Doctor had taken me away, apologising on my behalf. I hadn't seen Jack since. He had called and emailed, but I just avoided his calls and messages.

"Roxy wait up!" Jack repeated the Doctor's words and I slowed, turning to him with burning cheeks.

"Look I don't blame you." Jack grabbed my arm.

"Get off me Jack." I pulled my arm back, but he'd already pulled me into a hug.

“Given half the chance I would leave everything behind to go anywhere he asked me.” He whispered so honestly that it made my heart hurt.

“It’s not like that… not anymore.” I admitted and he looked at me.

Just at that exact moment in time the Doctor caught up. “Here Jack, catch.” He threw the box at Jack who caught it, jerked slightly and landed in a heap on the floor.

“See, that’s exactly why I told you not to touch.” He picked the box out of Jack’s cold dead hands and set off towards the chip shop.

“But it doesn’t do that to you?” I asked, running to catch up.

“Roxy.” The Doctor turned to face me, his face unreadable. “Surely you understand about alien artefacts by now.” He turned away.

“Once… and you hold it against me forever… Doctor… we can’t leave him there.” I looked back at Jack who was already groaning and coming round.

“I have never...” The Doctor refused to look at me, instead hefting the box toward what used to be my favourite fish and chip shop ever. “Erm, I’m gonna need to borrow some cash… I forgot the psychic paper.” 

He balanced the box upon a nearby bin and turned to me holding his hands out. “Sorry.” His smile was apologetic, even cheeky looking.

I remember rolling my eyes and walking towards him, fishing in my pockets for some cash as Jack caught up with us.

“What the hell was that?” He marched right up to the Doctor and shoved him back into the bin.

I watched in astonishment as the box clattered to the floor, giving off a blinding flash of violet light and then everything went black.

Through the blackness I heard him, calling my name.

"Roxy, you were right... Next time we'll go to St. Ives..." It wasn't much of an apology, but it was all I was going to get.

"Next time you're buying!" I groaned, managing to open my eyes and see his eyes light up.

"Welcome back."

"What happened?" I asked, stupidly.

"The box... Jack knocked it to the floor and it attacked." The Doctor helped me up, talking as he did.

"Attacked?!?" I pinched my nose trying to clear my eyes, a violet-purple haze still clouding my vision. "The light?"

"It was a ray... Stun ray judging by the voltage I just felt." He explained in his usual nonchalant way, tugging his ear. "It hit everything within ten metres or so."

"Everything?" I looked up and saw the nearest streetlight flickering awake. "What is it Doctor?"

“I already told you I don’t know!” He gave me that look again.

“You have some idea though.” I looked up at him as I tried to stay on my feet, my head still swimming from the after effects of the stun ray. 

“What makes you say that?” He gave me the grin. The one that meant his mind was in overdrive and nothing I said or did would bring him back to me until he was ready.

“How long have I travelled with you?” I asked, squeezing his hand before letting go and setting one foot in front of the other.

“Three years, twenty four days, sixteen hours and one minute…Now.” He stated, reeling off the numbers as if they meant nothing, like he was reading a stop-clock or dial inside of his mind.

“In that time don’t you think I’ve learnt a little about you?” I ask looking over my shoulder at him as I neared the box, still on its side beside the bin.

“No Roxy… Don’t… Please!” He pleaded and in his eyes I saw the pain and hurt from all of the goodbyes he’d had to say in his many, many years.

“What was it you would usually say at a time like this? Allons-y? Fantastic? Sorry?” I asked as I reached for the box.


	4. Chapter 4

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.

As soon as my fingers touched the box I felt a tearing rip deep inside of me. The whole world span before me and I must’ve blacked out again. I hate it when that happens.

Coming to I felt sick, dizzy and disorientated, wondering what had happened and where I was.

It was pitch black, that was all that I could tell, and I even reached up to my face to make sure my eyes were open. 

They were and the blackness was real.

“Idiot.” I muttered, knowing I’d been stupid.

“Hey…Am not.” A voice echoed beside me.

“You couldn’t let me do it could you?” I shook my head in the dark. “Couldn’t stand by and let me have all of the fun.”

“Nope!” Came his infuriating reply, followed by a slight chuckle as I heard him fumbling with something.

The sound of the Sonic Screwdriver filled the air along with the soft electric blue light.

“Hello!” He grinned in the small circle of light.

“Doctor…” I sighed and he pulled on his glasses.

“Don’t ask where we are because I’m not entirely sure.”

The light dimmed a little as he lowered the sonic to the floor, apparently taking readings. 

“And I can’t see the results on the sonic without any light…”

The second he mentioned light a soft orange glow flooded the room. 

“Thank you.” He said concentrating on the readings, not the fact that the lights had just come on at his command.

A loud echoing bell rang through the room reminding me of the church bells I’d hear when I went to church with my parents when I was tiny.

“Just as I thought.” He said, adding nothing to explain his thoughts, instead getting up and heading to a hexagonal door I hadn’t previously noticed.

“Any chance you could enlighten me?” I tried to get up too only to find I couldn’t.

“Temporal Sickness… time travelling without a capsule…” 

“…it’s a killer!” I finished for him. I’d heard it many times, though never actually tried it until then.

He frowned, trying to open the door with the sonic only to find it was stuck fast. “The question is… not where we are or when… But why?”

“And what is it with this bloody box?” I asked as I looked down and saw the box still there under my hand.

“More to the point, why didn’t you listen?” He gave me that look.

“Silly little human mind.” I insulted myself instead of waiting for him to do it. “Can’t keep my hands off of something so tempting.”

A groan alerted me to the fact that we weren’t alone.

“Had to be!” The Doctor rolled his eyes as we both noticed Jack in a heap in one of the corners of the room.

“Why me?” Jack uttered. “Why does everything feel the need to kill me?

“Because you’re so easy?” The Doctor offered, setting off a tirade of abuse between the two of them.

Zoning out their bickering I began to inspect the box.

“Doctor… DOCTOR.” I called, trying to snap them out of their almost full scale argument.

“What is it?” He glared at me.

“This box.”

“What about it?”

“I’m going to open it.”


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor and Jack both looked at me, yelling “NO!” in unison.

It was too late, I’d done it. Slipped my fingers into the crack between the lid and the body of the box, and lifted, bracing for whatever it wanted to throw at me.

The final laugh was mine as The Doctor and Jack threw themselves to the floor, in each other’s arms, heads buried against each other.

Nothing happened. Not the stomach twisting tear, no flash of light and no blackness.

Far away I heard the bell again, echoing through wherever we were.

“Is that?” Jack asked scrabbling to his feet.

“Yes.” The Doctor brushed himself down as he got up.

“So that means…?”

“I don’t understand it either.”

I looked at them. “Are either of you going to explain to me?”

The Doctor nodded to the door. “Help me with this Jack.”

He was pi**ed at me again.

I shrugged, not letting it get to me this time. Turning my attention back to the box I heard the whoosh of the door opening.

“Let me go check…” The Doctor called, heading out of the room. I barely even looked up, instead frowning at the contents of the box.

It contained nothing more than one of those 3D puzzles. The kind they sold of Big Ben or the Earth.

“It’s a puzzle.” I frowned getting up and noticing I was alone.

I stepped toward the open door and with a gentle whoosh it closed in front of me.

I heard footsteps running along the corridor and stopping outside the door.

“Roxy! What did you close the door for?” The Doctor was shouting but I could barely hear him.

“I…I didn’t!” I yelled back. “It just closed.”

“It can’t just close!” 

“I didn’t touch anything!” I yelled. “Get me out.”

“It’s deadlocked. Let me see what I can do…” He yelled and the door reverberated with the sound of the sonic screwdriver. “This may take a while. The TARDIS has locked it under security protocols… I have to re-route the energy… JACK!”

“It’s fine…” I felt a pull towards the box. “I have something to occupy me.”


	6. Chapter 6

I could hear the Doctor and Jack trying allsorts to open the door, but I was too busy to worry about it. The box seemed to contain lots of puzzles all mixed up so I was sorting them into piles, trying to figure out which piece went with which puzzle.

To begin with I thought there were 2, but as I worked my way through the box I realised it was more like 4 or 5.

One of the puzzles was easy to distinguish – the pieces almost felt like rock, grey in colour and with a rough texture.

“ROXY ARE YOU OK IN THERE?” 

“I’M FINE.” I yelled back, not stopping my task. 

“WE’RE TRYING TO GET THE DOOR OPEN.”

“I know you are!” I muttered rolling my eyes and shaking my head, trying to decide if a round golden piece belonged in one pile or another.

~

I don’t know how long I had been there trying to sort pieces, but judging by the sizes of the piles it had been a couple of hours. How all the pieces fit into the small wooden box I didn’t know, but it didn’t even concern me for some reason. 

My mind was focused on the task in hand and I couldn’t stop, yet even that didn’t bother me. Looking back I should’ve known, but then again it wasn’t the first time I had been under the influence of something alien and not noticed.

I could feel vibrations through the floor, knowing in that instant that we were on board the TARDIS and the Doctor’s earlier comment swam around in my head.

That woke my mind up a little.

“DOCTOR.” I called, wondering if he was still trying to get me out or if he had forgotten me.

“He’s moving us into the vortex.” Jack’s voice came from behind me.

“What? How?” I looked around and saw Jack watching me with a worried expression.

“We got the door open hours ago. You were in a kind of trance.” He nodded to the mounds of puzzle pieces around the room. “Finished have we?”

“Yeah I guess.” I bit my lip. “Can you help me up, my legs have gone dead!”

Jack offered me his hand. “I’ve missed you.” Was all he said, his expression cold.

I rubbed my legs once I was stood, avoiding his gaze. “I had to go, or I would’ve never seen him again.”

“But you said it’s not like that anymore.” 

“It isn’t. He’s never forgiven himself for letting me have the bracelet. He thinks everything we had was due to its influence.” I shrug and head to the door with Jack. “Never mind everything we had before we even found it.”

“Once he realises his actions have affected someone there’s not a lot you can do to get him back. The Oncoming Storm… that’s what he’s known as across the galaxies.”

“Tell me something I don’t know Jack.” I sighed, wandering the corridors with him to try and find the console room.

“Gwen’s pregnant.” Jack said with a grin. 

“Oh My God!” I exclaimed, having not expected something so completely off topic. “How far gone?”

“Only a couple of months, but she’s starting to show.” Jack looked so proud as he spoke that I wondered for a second if the baby was his. “Rhys wants her to stop work, thinks it’s too much, too dangerous.”

“He’s probably right.” I looked up at Jack, seeing the lost look on his face.

“He is right, but I’ve been scanning her daily to make sure there are no side effects from the work we do… if she gives up I can’t keep an eye on her. I don’t know what to do for the best Roxy. If anything happened to her or the little one…”

I stopped him with a hug. “She’ll be ok, and you can’t decide for Gwen. That would be wrong. She knows what she’s doing.”

“Thanks… I guess it’s purely selfish of me to want her to work.” He admitted, tightening the hug as if his life depended on it. “I still have nobody else for the team.”

I swallowed the guilt he was making me feel. “What about the contacts I gave you before I left?”

“Work trials…” Jack let go a little so I could look up at him. “None of them got past the shop…” He shrugged.

“You mean you made them staff that godforsaken shop… it’s no wonder they didn’t last the week. They’re computer geniuses Jack…” I knew where the conversation was going to go and I wanted to do all I could to avoid that conversation while the Doctor was annoyed at me.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack was quiet for a bit after that. We walked the corridors of the TARDIS, trying to find our way back to the control room.

Breaking the silence Jack stopped at a junction between rooms. “We’ve been here before.”

“I did wonder how long it would be before you noticed.” I sighed, shaking my head. “The TARDIS doesn’t like me anymore… she moves things around so I wander for hours.”

“You too?!?” Jack chuckled. “She hates me! I was lost down here for almost a week once before he came to find me.”

“A week?! Wow… I thought my 26 hours was a record.”

“Nah, that just means she’s holding a grudge against you!” Jack laughed. 

“Because I upset her Doctor, yes I know.” I shook my head, going into the nearest doorway and finding myself back in the room with the puzzle piles. “I guess she wants me to clear up my mess before I’m allowed to see him.”

“Probably not a good idea, you might become obsessed again.” He warned, trying to steer me away.

“She keeps putting me back here Jack. I need to do this.” I headed into the room, sitting down with the grey rock like pieces.

“I’d offer to help, but I don’t think I’m allowed… besides, I’m crap at puzzles! This one time…” 

I zoned out, fitting piece after piece together, not ready to hear another of Jack’s stories. They always ended the same way – some sexual act or another! 

No matter how many pieces I fitted together the pile didn’t seem to get any smaller.

“Hang on…” Jack sounded worried as I had built almost a complete set of wings. “Stop Rox…”

I tried to, I really did, but once again I couldn’t. I felt so compelled to finish this.

~

I felt a hand on my shoulder, tearing me from what I had been doing. Blinking I turned and saw the concern in The Doctor’s eyes.

“Stop Roxy.” I heard the words and felt his mind crashing against mind.

“I…” I couldn’t speak, I looked around and Jack was stood just behind The Doctor, gun in hand, staring at whatever was behind me. “What is it?” I tried to look around, but The Doctor placed his hands on my temples.

“Don’t look. Just come with me.”


	8. Chapter 8

I let the Doctor lead me away, his mind blocking my need to turn back.

"I don't get it." Jack called from the room, stopping The Doctor.

"What now?" I heard the annoyance in The Doctor's voice, though his face was calm, his gaze never once breaking mine.

"Why did the TARDIS allow this?" Jack called.

"Why does she do anything?" The Doctor smiled at me despite the tone of his voice. "She has her reasons, the same as any of us."

"Can I come out now?"

"What?!? Oh yes... Sorry." The Doctor chuckled.

“You forgot about me then!” Jack sounded annoyed too, and I wanted to turn to look at him but the Doctor didn’t let me until the door had closed behind Jack.

I felt my mind freed from his hold and blinking I looked around. Jack was fiddling with the door controls, evidently trying to fuse them. 

A flash, loud bang and clouds of smoke coming from the panel along with Jack flying back against the opposite wall of the corridor made me think he’d succeeded.

“God that smarts!” Jack rubbed the back of his head with his un-burnt hand.

“Won’t hold them for long.” 

I looked at the Doctor. “Hold what?”

“The box… the puzzles… it was kind of a trap…” Jack explained while the Doctor refused to meet my gaze.

“A trap? For who?” I looked at Jack and back at the Doctor.

“Anyway, enough about that…” The Doctor finally spoke, rubbing his neck.

A thud echoed from the door that was now supposedly sealed shut. 

“How are you feeling Roxy?” The Doctor pretended the thud hadn’t happened as he took my hand.

“Fine, confused and still hungry…” I answered wearily. “Why?”

“RUN!” The Doctor grinned as another thud shook the door.

That was it, the one command I would never ignore. We ran. Through the corridors of the TARDIS to the control room, Jack hot on our heels as a loud crash sounded behind us.


	9. Chapter 9

Skidding to a halt at the console the Doctor began moving like a man possessed, flicking switches, turning dials and generally being the whirlwind I had grown to love, though this time it was something different. He seemed scared, fidgeting more than normal.

“What can I do Doc?” Jack shouted as the engines roared into life.

“Hold on…” The Doctor yelled as the violent shuddering started. “…to Roxy!”

I felt Jack’s arms encase me, pulling me to the railings as it felt like the TARDIS had gone through a 360. My stomach flipped along with the TARDIS and I was so glad we had never managed to get the chips. Having them reappear all over Jack would have been so embarrassing.

Sparks flew from the console and the Doctor was thrown backwards towards the door.

“Grab him!” I screamed to Jack as I linked my arms around the railings.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion, Jack reached for the Doctor as the TARDIS 360’d again and the three of us were thrown against the doors. The lock opened and then the doors.

Landing with a crash and bright flash we tumbled out of the TARDIS, and she vanished again.

The Doctor scrabbled to his feet first throwing his hands up before raking his hands through his hair. “No… No… No…No!”

“What just happened?” I asked quietly, getting up and looking around. 

We were nowhere. It sounds crazy doesn’t it, but that’s exactly where we were.

A rock, floating in empty space, with a strangely breathable atmosphere. The whole place could’ve been no more than a mile across, and there was nothing on it, well except for us that was. 

The only light came from what appeared to be a star, it was either a new star or a very old one as the light was faint, almost like the time on earth just before dawn, when night was fading away but the sun hadn’t risen yet; and it was cold, not a trace of warmth reaching us from the star.

“Emergency protocols.” The Doctor said as if that explained everything.

“The TARDIS has kicked us out so she can fight them.” Jack said, sitting up. “Nearest habitable place… I hope she doesn’t take long as this place could get very boring very quickly.” 

“Fight what?! Look either one of you explains fully what happened or your time here is going to be even more boring!” I think I even put my hands on my hips as I looked at them both, frowning.

“The trap… it was meant for me.” The Doctor looked at me. He didn’t sound convincing. “You see I’ve made a lot of enemies in my 900 odd years… Usually they would rather fight each other if they ever met… Back at Canary Wharf the Daleks and Cybermen had a kind of clash… it was bad, very bad… I lost people…” 

I could see the pain in his eyes. I had felt it previously when we were close, way back before it all went wrong and we became nothing more than the Doctor and his companion.

He continued. “They must have decided it would be better if they worked together this time, along with many other beings…”

“How many?” I asked, trying to think back to what I had been doing before, but running into a block in my mind. “I can’t remember… Why can’t I remember Doctor?” I glared at him.

“I had to do it.” The Doctor shrugged. “Had I not you would have finished rebuilding each and every thing that I have destroyed.”

“You mean I was building your enemies?!?” I shook my head in disbelief. “How is that even possible?”

“The wooden box, it’s linked to everything I’ve ever done… I don’t know how or why… and now the TARDIS is out there somewhere battling them all on her own.” The Doctor explained quickly, the anguish obvious in his eyes and voice. “I should’ve never…”

“Never what?” I snapped. I knew where this was heading.

“There was nothing you could do.” Jack sighed, fiddling with his vortex manipulator. “If I could just get this to work we can go back to Earth.”

“It won’t work.” The Doctor said taking out his sonic and going to crouch next to Jack, leaving me stood alone. “See, no base code. We’re outside of everything. Not quite in the void, but so close we can almost reach out and touch it.”

“So what? We’re really stuck here?” Jack asked as the Doctor tried to sonic his wrist cuff. Not even the sonic screwdriver would work.


	10. Chapter 10

I moved away from the Doctor and Jack, heading towards the edge of the rock. If we were stuck there I didn’t want to hear their bickering.

Sitting down with my back to the two of them I pulled my knees up and hugged them to my chest. The trap obviously hadn’t been for the Doctor or it would’ve been he that had been drawn to it. 

Burying my head against my arms I closed my eyes and tried to work past the block in my mind. I had to know what happened.

Trying to slam my way through it didn’t work. Instead I tried working gently around the edges, using the information I had just gained from the Doctor and Jack. 

Glimpses of things kept slipping past me. A statue. A metal man. A strange metallic thing that reminded me of a pepper pot. And that was just the start. I could see a spacesuit with a black visor and what appeared to be two shadows.

“ENOUGH!” His voice snapped me out of it. 

“I need to know.” I looked up into The Doctor’s deep brown eyes, noting again how much pain and tiredness he seemed to carry around in them.

“No you don’t.” He shook his head. Jack was stood behind him and between the two of them they got me to my feet. “If you go poking around in there you don’t know what you will come across.” 

“It’s my mind Doctor!” I snapped, pushing him and Jack away. “What gives you the right to tell me what I can or cannot know in my own head?”

“Because if you start breaking down barriers you’ll find the other ones he’s put in place.” Jack said quietly, stopping as the Doctor turned and glared at him. “What?!? She has a right to know!”

“Yeah, come on Doctor. If you don’t tell me I will find out for myself.” I almost growled at him.

“No you won’t… I’ll do it again and you won’t even remember how to work around it.” His eyes challenged mine.

“What are you hiding from me?” I asked so quietly that only he would hear, despite Jack standing inches from us both.

“Ah… but if I tell you that then you know the secret and where’s the fun in that?!?” He gave me the most annoying of his grins. The one that told me he had not only changed the subject, but that the original subject was dead, buried and he wouldn’t even discuss it if his whole existence relied on it.

“So how are we going to get off of here then?” I asked, playing his game. The distraction would help me work my way around the other mind blocks.

“The TARDIS… she’s going to come back and get us.” He grinned and I could see his mind working as he twirled across the dark dusty ground, trying to pinpoint a direction. “From that… No THAT direction!” He pointed towards the star before sitting down with his back to us.

I looked out into dark space, trying to go with his never ending optimism, but this time I couldn’t find it in my heart to encourage him. 

“How do you know?” Jack asked as I fell silent, sitting down and staring out the way the Doctor had pointed.

“I can feel her.” Was the answer the Doctor gave, not looking around to Jack, just using his hands as a pair of imaginary binoculars. “She’s out there. The war is won and she’s trying to get back to us.”

I tried to feel happy, but a deep sadness spread through me. Something was pushing inside of me for me to go to the Doctor and sit next to him but I resisted, until I heard Jack do the same.

Scrabbling to my feet I turned and walked over to Jack and the Doctor, gesturing that they should move apart a little, then I took up my place between them both, an arm around each of them.

“She’s coming back.” I whispered as I felt the pull. 

“You’re sure too?” Jack sighed, resting his head on my shoulder. 

“I can feel her too.” I whispered, pulling my boys close and kissing each of their heads. “She’s sad right now, so sad… she needs love and care…!”

The Doctor turned his head. With a frown he shook his head. “You shouldn’t know that.”

“Why not?” I asked, feeling suddenly so tired and sad that I couldn’t bring myself to argue.

“Can you feel it?” The Doctor asked Jack, once again ignoring my reply to consult with Jack.

“Feel what? The cold, the dark?” Jack slipped his arm around my waist while talking to the Doctor.

“No… The TARDIS… she’s in my mind… and Roxy’s too…” The Doctor tried to explain.

“You’re not a telepath, you won’t feel it.” I said quietly. “Neither am I… or at least I wasn’t until…”

“DON’T!” I got the warning twice over - in his voice, and as a shout through my mind.


	11. Chapter 11

We sat there in silence for what seemed like an age. I could feel the sadness echoing through the space around us.

“Right I’ve had enough of staring into space.” Jack got up, rubbing his butt. “You two sit there and enjoy your telepathic-ness… I’m going to explore this lump of rock.”

I waited until Jack was over the other side of the rock before looking up at the Doctor. “What’s happened? To me? To us? We were good Doctor.”

“I put you in danger.” His voice was grave; he refused to even look at me. “And I keep doing it.”

“You do not.” I shook my head. This old argument was never going to go away.

“I do, look at today… I should’ve stopped you… I should’ve blocked the pull you felt…” He did look at me this time, and I wished he hadn’t. The pain in his eyes, the depth of his stare. It hurt me. 

That I was the cause of his pain was almost unbearable.

“When she comes back I’ll pack.” I offered. I couldn’t stay if it was hurting him.

He didn’t answer. That was confirmation enough for me. I got up and headed towards Jack, not wanting the Doctor to see me upset.

Jack must’ve heard me coming because as I neared him he turned, holding out a hand to me. I glanced back at the Doctor. He was sat with his knees pulled up, his coat pulled tightly around himself, staring out into space.

“He’ll come round.” Jack pulled me into one of his reassuring bear hugs, feeling how cold I was. He opened his greatcoat and wrapped it around the two of us.

“He won’t.” I whispered quietly, closing my eyes and just enjoying the closeness of the hug. The Doctor barely did that anymore and I missed it. 

“He’s pig-headed… 900 years will do that to you.” Jack said and I sighed.

“It’s more than that.” I let out a small yawn.

“You’re dead on your feet kiddo.” Jack said rubbing my arms through his coat. “Take my coat, get some rest…”

“You’ll get cold then.” I frowned. All this chivalry was getting a little old.

“Honestly, I don’t care. I’d rather that than see you suffer.” Jack slipped his coat off, plonking it around my shoulders and the weight of it just added to my tired feeling. 

“Fine but wake me as soon as there’s any change.” I glared at Jack before moving to sit again, wrapped in the coat and Jack’s scent. 

I must’ve fallen asleep, curled there on the desolate rock, floating through empty space because the next time I opened my eyes The Doctor and Jack were squared up to each other.


	12. Chapter 12

“I’ll look after her.” Jack was almost growling.

“I said NO Jack.”

Neither of them had noticed I was awake so I watched the scene unfold before my eyes, curled up in Jack’s coat.

“You’ll never give her what she wants!” Jack shoved the Doctor, sending him stumbling back a bit.

“I give her plenty.” The Doctor stood up and brushed himself down.

“Not what she needs though.” Jack stalked towards him.

I wasn’t sure if this was real or a dream as I saw the Doctor crouch back on his haunches a little before jumping at Jack. “You’re not having her!” He hissed through gritted teeth as his movement not only took me by surprise but Jack too. 

The force of the Doctor hitting Jack made them both roll in what could only be described as some kind of wrestling move, The Doctor doing a full commando roll having knocked Jack to the floor and landed on his feet again, turning on a dime to face Jack as he got to his feet, slowly, wiping the side of his mouth.

“Don’t like it when I fight back eh?” The Doctor hissed, clenching and unclenching his fist.

I saw Jack spit blood, having not seen the hit as it happened so fast. 

“You’re wrong. I love it when you fight back.” Jack squared up to the Doctor and went for him only to have the Doctor sidestep and Jack fell to the ground.

“Missed me!” The Doctor sang, and it was like watching a schoolyard brawl. Jack took out The Doctor’s legs with a swipe of his legs and the two of them scrabbled around in the dirt, punches and kicks landing left right and centre.

Having pinned the Doctor to the floor by his collar, Jack wiped his own nose on the shoulder of his shirt, not wanting to let go in case he started the fight again. “You don’t love her.” He hissed through gritted teeth and swollen lips.

“I do…” I heard the Doctor breathe in reply. “…more than you could ever know. But I shouldn’t… and I can’t… the danger… the pain… I won’t put people I love through that…” His breathing had become more ragged and I saw Jack help him to sit then hug him tight.

A tender moment followed and I felt like I was intruding so buried my face in Jack’s coat as Jack tried to calm the Doctor’s dark mood, holding him close and whispering to him so low that I couldn’t hear.

As I sat up, looking away, the echoing sound of the TARDIS filled the air as she appeared through the dying star, scorched and battered, flying directly towards us. 

The Doctor and Jack looked up, seeing her coming, and both seemed to realise at the same time that she was on a collision course with the rock we were sat on.

“ROXY!” The shout echoed throughout space as they both seemed to jump up as one and run in my direction. “GET DOWN!” They dived on me, knocking me backwards, and tried to hold me down for my own safety.

The TARDIS was mere metres away as she appeared to divert herself, almost as if she pulled a handbrake turn, spinning and slowing so much that she barely touched the rock.

The doors opened and smoke billowed out as she hung in dead space, not moving.

The Doctor had previously told me of the time when he, Rose and Mickey had fallen through the void landing on the parallel Earth. How the tiny, inconsequential little battery cell had held onto life and how The Doctor had given 10 years of his life to bring life back into the TARDIS.

This time however once the smoke had cleared enough for the Doctor to deem it safe for him to enter, jumping in through her open doors then tasting the atmosphere which made me shudder even in the warmth of Jack’s coat, he returned shaking his head. “Nothing.”

There were no signs of life, not even that little flickering light.

“She’s not gone.” I shook my head. It couldn’t be true. I could still feel her, the sadness, and the faint vibration of her engines that seemed to run through my body since…well since the Doctor and I…

“She has…” The sadness echoed in the Doctor’s voice. “There’s nothing there… everything fried in the fight… It seems her last action as she tried to come back for us was to burn through the sun… The shortest route was her only chance, and it didn’t work.” He stroked the battered and scorched wood that had once been blue.


	13. Chapter 13

Jack and The Doctor managed to pull the TARDIS towards the rock that was seeming more and more like it would be our grave as well as our saviour, using each other’s arms, the Doctor hanging out of her doors and Jack with his feet firmly dug into the grit and dust. They got her onto the edge of the rock, balancing precariously, half on and half off.

I just sat and watched. I couldn’t help them manhandle her, feeling her pain and sadness was enough for me.

~

“Roxy.” The Doctor pulled me out of my daydream, or should that be day-mare. Blinking I looked up and he was holding my jumper. “Thought you’d be more comfortable in this.”

“Thank you.” I took it, and shrugged off Jack’s coat, pulling the jumper on. “Where’s Jack?”

“Inside… he’ll be back with us in a few minutes.” He said with a shrug. “There was a pocket of gas and well… like I said; he’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“You just left him there?” I couldn’t believe it. “He’ll come round, breathe the gas again and die again!”

“I can’t use the extraction system can I?” He said ruffling his hair. “Besides if he breathes it all in, the atmosphere will be safe for you.”

I had no answer for that comment. He was right, but the thought of Jack dying over and over really disturbed me.

“She’s not dead Doctor.” I said so low that I was unsure if he’d hear. He rubbed his face, pretending not to hear. “I can still feel her Doctor.” I said a little louder turning to face him.

“You can’t. It’s an echo.” He said, staring at the dust that covered his chucks. “I’ve checked every system and she’s gone.”

“I refuse to believe that.” I said which came out sounding like a challenge.

“You want to recheck my work?” He turned his head and I expected a glare, but got his sad thoughtful eyes instead. “Be my guest. But please wait until Jack comes out. I couldn’t stand to lose two things in a day.”

“Is that what I am? A thing? Something you can pick up and put down on a whim?” I asked out of curiosity. My tone was low, containing the anger I felt. 

“No.” He shook his head and raked his fingers through his hair again. “That came out wrong.”

“You usually refer to the TARDIS as a being, a member of your crew more than a thing Doctor. What’s changed?”

“She left me.” He all but whispered.

“She fought for you Doctor. Your ship, your one true love. She gave everything to keep you safe.” I tried to reach out and touch him but he flinched away before I could.

“Everybody fights for me Roxy. That’s why I hate myself so much. I refuse to use weapons so end up turning my friends and loved ones into the biggest and most dangerous weapons there could possibly be.” He stood and went to walk back to what he apparently believed was the shell of the TARDIS.

“But she’s still fighting Doctor, if only you’d see. They all are.”

“They’re not.” He stopped, and I could almost see his skin prickle with the anger he was feeling. 

Turning back to me his face was hard. “They’re gone, buried, lost through the void. Nobody stays Roxy. Even the TARDIS wanted out. You will go too. One day. And then I’ll be a TimeLord stuck on a dead ship with nobody but the Freak for company.”

“He’s not a freak. That’s not you talking Doctor. I remember when we… I saw it all… The Master called Jack a freak and now you are too because you’re scared and angry.” I squared up to him, almost slapping him across the face, but stopping myself at the last minute.

“So…?”


	14. Chapter 14

“So you’re not The Master. You’re nothing like him.” I tried to reason with him but the darkness within him was showing no sign of abating.

“I’m a TimeLord Rox, one of the most powerful beings in the whole of time and space. I have the power to rewrite time, erase entire universes if I so wish.”

“But you wouldn’t and you couldn’t.” I stepped closer to him and he took a step back. That hurt. Here we were trapped in the middle of chuffing nowhere and he was determined to destroy his only hope of getting out of there.

“I have done so many bad things Roxy.” He was turning in on himself, despair emanating from him.

“I know.” I said softly. “But you’ve done so much good too. The people you’ve saved, entire worlds.”

“That doesn’t matter. None of it.”

“It does to me.” I looked deep in his eyes, stepping closer again. “I couldn’t love the monster you think you are.”

“You don’t even know the meaning of the word.” He turned back to look at the TARDIS and I saw his shoulders begin to shake.

I’d made the all-powerful TimeLord cry.

~

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just stand there and watch him cry, yet the last time I tried to go to him he flinched. 

I was saved from my mental torture by the sound of Jack coughing and spluttering as he made his way out of the TARDIS.

“Don’t cry Doc, I’m fine!” He said sarcastically, yet the Doctor didn’t make a move towards him, he just stood there.

“You shouldn’t be out yet. There was enough gas in there to keep you on your back for a week.” 

“Well, what can I say aside from you’re wrong. She’s not gone. The extraction fans kicked in after I died the third time. There was me thinking the TARDIS hated me…” Jack winked at me and saw the look on my face.

“Should I leave you two to your little heart to heart?” Jack pointed between us, then back at the TARDIS.

“No.” I replied, walking past him in through the scorched blue wooden doors. “You deal with him.”

~

As soon as I set foot inside of the TARDIS I felt uncontrollably sad. Images hit me like a freight train and I stumbled up the gangway, leaning against the scorched control panels, trying to steady myself.

I had caused this to happen to the TARDIS, brought out The Oncoming Storm, and killed Jack countless times. I shouldn’t even be there.

Warmth flooded through me from the panel I had touched and it was almost too much to bear. 

“Why?” I asked aloud, speaking to the TARDIS. 

A soft light began to fill the room as one by one her lights came flickering back on. Another image filled my mind. The Doctor with the biggest grin. It was a memory that had haunted me since the Doctor had changed towards me. That grin was what I had seen when I first agreed to go with them. It lit up the room.

“He doesn’t smile like that for me anymore.” I said quietly.

The engines hummed in reply.

“You neither?! I guess he’s got comfortable with us, expecting us to just be there…” I mused, fiddling with a dial on her console.

The next image was from the external cameras and showed the tears running down the Doctor’s cheeks.

“It makes me sad too.” I shook my head.

“I’m sorry.” His voice came from the doorway


	15. Chapter 15

“You weren’t supposed to hear.” I felt my cheeks redden as the TARDIS lights flared. 

He shrugged.

There was a nudge in my mind and I went with it, stepping towards the Doctor and taking his hand.

“She doesn’t like you being sad…” I said leading him to the console. “Nor do I.”

“I thought I had lost you.” He was talking to the TARDIS, touching her console, speaking in soothing tones, and I had to admit that I felt jealous. I wanted to be on the receiving end of his apology; those tender caresses. 

Jack stepped in next, and feeling the atmosphere he turned and walked out.

“I’ll just…” I excused myself, heading out of the console room. I was speaking as much to the TARDIS as the Doctor. Neither of them seemed to notice me.

I walked through the corridors, finding my room a short walk away for once. The TARDIS was obviously too busy with her TimeLord to wind me up. 

It was with a heavy heart that I began to gather my things, piling them on my bed. I had told him that I would go when she came back. I wasn’t going to go back on my word.

I began to pack my clothes into my duffle bag, then I put it down to grab something off a strut. I turned around and my room was now the size of a football pitch, the bag sitting down at the other end.

“Don’t you start!” I wiped at tears I hadn’t noticed falling. “He doesn’t need me, He needs and adores you, but I’m just company… Jack can fill my space… you know he wants to.”

The lights in my room dimmed a little, almost to distract me as the room shifted back to its original size.

I placed the last of my clothes into the bag, picking up a couple of trinkets from our travels and placing them in the top of the bag, then taking them out again. I didn’t need trinkets to remind me of our amazing times together.

“Where is he?” I asked, leaving my bag on the bed. I got to the door and it opened as I was about to press the release button and The Doctor walked in.

“There you are.” He grinned before looking around me and seeing my bag on the bed. “Oh.”

“I said I’d go.” My voice broke as my control on my emotions slipped. 

“Fine.” 

I’d expected more of an argument. 

He just picked up my bag and walked out, heading for the control room.

“Fine? Is that all I get?” I asked, running to catch up with him.

“I can’t make you stay. It’s not fair on you or me.” 

He didn’t even look at me.

So that was that. 

Arriving in the console room, my bag was placed on the jump seat. Jack walked back into the TARDIS and the doors closed. The Doctor didn’t speak another word to me.

Not one.

**_And that is why I’m writing this from my desk in the hub; sat in what would have been Tosh’s seat. I haven’t seen The Doctor since then and I miss him so much I feel a physical ache inside of me._ **

**_Don’t get me wrong – working with Jack and Gwen is an amazing opportunity, I’ve learnt so much, yet I can’t help but wonder where He is now; if he even misses me, or if he’s found someone else to travel with._ **

**_I hear the TARDIS in my dreams. Her ancient echoing engines sing to me, calming my nightmares, but never Him._ **

_~ The End ~_


End file.
